Abney Park Interview

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Airship crew and talented musicians, fuelled by the power to entertain. Two of Abney Parks members, Robert and Nathaniel, give insights into what it's like to play for the hordes of Dragon Con and the bands never ending quest for cups of golden Rosey Lee.

For those who may reading about Abney Park for the first time, can you please introduce yourself?

Robert: Hi, I’m Robert. I’m the captain, and the band leader. I sing the songs, plan the expeditions, yell directions a lot while pointing, and constantly want to strangle Magdalene who’s never on time enough to NOT inspire me to kill her, yet never late enough to justify a public execution to the courts.

I negotiate performance contracts, which goes something like this: “How about $5, and we’ll clean the bathrooms before we go?” “$5! We had Depeche Mode last week, and THEY paid US $5 bucks, AND painted the club!”. Me, in grumbly voice “this place sure doesn’t look like its just been painted…”

Can you tell us about your main mode of transport, the Ophelia, and who she is named after?

Robert: I’m sure don’t know what you’re talking about. Flying an unlicensed airship around in 2006 would not make us popular with the FAA or the ISA (and I got enough problems with those bastards as is). These rumors are completely unfounded, and if I’m doing my job correctly, they are completely improvable!

You can’t really buy modern airships (this I will admit to having tried), so if we had one in this time…wouldn’t that imply it got to this time by a less-then-linear path? Seriously, this whole concept is ridiculous, and you can’t prove a thing.

Nathaniel: Actually it's a reference to a tattoo on the Captain's ass. Or so I'm told. I haven't actually seen his ass but I have learned, through my respected sources, that the tattoo is a tribute to a golden-hearted whore he once met in Singapore.

Robert: Also an unfounded rumor. She had red hair…don’t make me prove it.

You recently did a gig at Dragon Con, how did it compare to other venues you have played and will you return next year?

Robert: Dragon Con is BIG, like 30,000 – 50,000 people big. And filled with the ODDEST assortment of people, things, creatures, and mechanized people I’ve ever seen (and honestly, that’s saying something). For three days I thought I was suffering from the aftermath of some failed alcoholic concoction of Nathaniel’s.

Nathaniel: My view of the whole weekend developed over time. As the hours went by and the sleep-deprivation began to take effect, it became more and more surreal. I have never rubbed elbows with so many Jedi Knights and Storm Troopers in my life. I can't wait for a reprise.

Dragon Con is full of folks in costume, did you have to give any fashion tips?

Robert: OH! Those people were in COSTUME!?!? Are you sure? Shit, well that explains a lot!

Nathaniel: This goes out to a handful of people: For the love of all that is holy, put some clothes on! That's all, thank you.

Have you had any weird encounters with the fans, them hanging onto the air ships guide ropes, during take off for example?

Robert: None that I care to talk about publicly, or on the record. We have had a few attempted stowaways – “can I live with you? I hate my dad, he makes me clean my room!” (That’s a true story!) “Um, kid, if you move in with us, believe me you will be cleaning a lot more then just YOUR room!”

Nathaniel: I had to have stern words with a stowaway who tried to sample some of my favorite Irish Whiskey. He was nice enough about it, so I made sure we were over soft ground before I pitched him overboard. I don't THINK he suffered any permanent injury. As far as the fans we met in the main convention area, they were all really cool.

Does the band demand anything outrageous for performing, copious amounts of cucumber sandwiches with the crust cut off, that kind of thing?

Robert: A water source, a bathroom or outhouse, and a PA, when we can get it.

Nathaniel: I demand sacrifice of at least a dozen virgin goats. Beyond that, my own requirements are few.

Does anyone in the group have any freaky habits or weird ticks?

Robert: Duh, Look at us! I would make out a list right here and now, except I got to keep this crew motivated enough to make it to the next port!

Nathaniel: Robert and his drum. It's weird. I never thought you could do THAT with a drum before. I don't think I'll ever be able to banish the image from my memory. I've already tried several gallons of hard alcohol and it hasn't done the trick. Lord help me.

Robert: That’s it, I’m fixing that bathroom door right now.

Nathaniel: I, myself, have no ticks to speak of. None whatsoever. And I think that I'd best warn you that Magdalene is NEVER to be called "Maggie." I have learned that at great cost.

What is next for the crew of Ophelia? A clothing label, a new album, a perfume line derived from the sump oil of Ophelia’s engine?

Robert: Hey, if people out their want to smell like our engines, just get a job Mc.Donalds!

Nathaniel: Tea. We hear that there's a chronic shortage of good tea in America. Our goal is to seek out the finest teas around the world and bring them home to share with our friends, family, and fans.

Robert: In the next four months we are going to release a Christmas album, play a show in Hollywood, and one in Pomona, and I think bath day is coming up but I’m gunna have to check the calendar on that.

Abney Park can be found at Abneypark.com Flikr , MySpaceand a mooring mast near you (maybe). Enjoy the show.